It's Sunday, 6:24am and

 I haven't been to bed yet. I've been up all night putting this blog together. Yes, another blog which no one will read. Because I have spent over 20 years changing blog urls, blog names, blog platforms. As a matter of fact this is the second blog I made this night - I deleted the first one because I didn't like where I had linked it. 

At one time, way back when, I had lots of readers now I have just about none. 

I get bored easily for starters. And since my husband died I have sort of lost interest in life and what I do want to write (document) is all the depressing stuff that occupies my mind. And who the hell wants to read that. And because people might actually read it and have, well a reaction to what I was writing and I didn't/don't want that sort of reaction. 

But then again I want someone, anyone to know what I am thinking and feeling. To say that I am dichotomous is putting it mildly. But then I have always described myself as dichotomous. 

So the Wordpress blog is dead. I'll leave it up so I have a record of what I've written - those most of it was from one of the old Blogger blogs - which is still here. 

So many blogs - and, not to blow my own horn, but a goodly amount of really good writing. Anyone remember when I wrote interesting things and wrote them well? I used to be a good writer, a way with words I had.

And I haven't written any poetry since my husband died. His life stopped and so did mine, it seems. 

I want to get back into living but I just don't know how.